Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
