Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
