I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
