I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
