You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
