I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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