Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
