Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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