problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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