I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
