someone threw a dead crab at me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
