Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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