i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
