you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
