would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
