Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
