He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
