You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
