It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
