clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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