After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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