You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
