ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
