He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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