It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
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