can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
