so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
