WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize