I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
