I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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