i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
