im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
God, I missed his penis.
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