Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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