I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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