So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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