We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
