A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will be naked everywhere
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
