question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
