Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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