Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
