so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He? As in you personified your dick?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
