Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
