Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
