I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
