is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
