I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
be right there i have to get my cape
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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