This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
