I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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