how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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