Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
