yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
