Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize