i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
